Here are this year’s winners.

Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered to form a real word. Some are terrifically innovative:
 
1. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
 
2. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
 
3. Bozone (n.) : The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
 
4. Cashtration (n.) : The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
 
5. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
 
6. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
 
7. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
 
8. Hipatitis : Terminal coolness.
 
9. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
 
10. Karmageddon : It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s, like, a serious bummer.
 
11. Decafalon (n.) : The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
 
12. Glibido : All talk and no action.
 
13. Dopeler effect : The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
 
1 4. Arachnoleptic fit (n.) : The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
 
15. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
 
16. Caterpallor (n.) : The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
 
And The #1 pick:
 
17. Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

 But just until the end of April 2008! 

After April, no more freebies, and the price goes up to $25.

We liked his site so much that we put links on our site, AND paid him $10. And now he’s getting this blog post!

It’s not just about the banner. Jay’s site is about web and blog design, and about how to use WORDS on your blog or site. All written in Jay’s very unique voice. We think it’s an outstanding blog, and have already learned a lot from it.

Here are the banners Jay designed for us:

You like? We only asked for one, but got four. Talk about over-delivering! (Of course, you’re more than welome to use any of these banners to link back to our site or this blog.)

Hurry, there are just a few days left for this offer.

For those of you who are sick of getting emails that tell you to forward it to at least X number of people in the next 15 minutes so that wonderful things and miracles will happen if you do, or there will be serious consequences if you don’t, watch this video.

Might be.

Might not.

Here’s a great, easy, free way to find out.  Go to Steve Gibson’s Gibson Research Center (that’s him in the pic) and use their probe called ShieldsUP! ShieldsUP! is a remote port scanner, that has arguably taken the lead to become the Net’s most authoritative and reliable Internet port vulnerability scanning facility.

GRC says that 70% of Windows systems are not safe online, yet there are lots of people online - with no firewall, virus, or spyware protection - who feel that they are completely safe!

For this check, there is nothing to download, although they have lots of other excellent, free, downloadable programs on the site.

The first thing the program will do is analyze the security of your computer’s machine name, and explain to you what it’s all about. Click the PROCEED button, and you will be taken the vulnerability tests.

1. The first check is File Sharing. My computer is in total Stealth Mode!

2. Next is Common Ports. My computer failed! Port 113 responded to a ping. Each port has a link next to it that goes to a description of the port, plus lots of background information on the port. It seems that this port is outdated, and can be shut off, but a very few moldy old Unix servers still might need to connect using it, so it’s still there. They go on to explain that you can usually safely shut it down, and you will notice if you have any problem connecting to, say, your mail server or an IRC. In that case, you would need to re-open the port.

They also say that Zone Alarm’s firewall has a very unique way of handling this particular port, and that it is the ONLY firewall that does this. It’s called “Adaptive Stealthing”. I personally would never go on the internet without Zone Alarm! There is a free version, firewall only, and a paid version, which includes anti-virus, anti-spam, anti-spyware - a total security suite. (Use that link for $10 off!). I use the free version, and it is absolutely the best!

3. Next is All Service Ports. It examines the first 1056 ports of your computer. Takes about 1 minute, a little more during high traffic times. I failed again! All my ports are in Stealth Mode, except for port 113.

Again, they devote quite a bit of explanation to how Zone Alarm protects this open port, and how they are hopeful that other firewall programs will eventually incorporate this feature.

4. Next check is for Windows Messenger spam. Mine is not turned on, so I don’t know if the program was able to spam me or not.

5. The last check is of your Browser’s Headers. You might be surprised at the amount of information that is available about you in your browser’s header.

Spend some time on this site. Lots of interesting info, things to know. For instance, did you know that the latest version of ICQ has a mini-server built into it that will open Port 80 on your machine? (The site also tells you what to do to prevent this.)  Be sure to check the ShieldsUP! forum FAQs. Massive amounts of info.

It’s called InfoGuard. It’s not a fancy-looking program, but it works. You can download a trial version, which will encrypt a very small text file, just so you can see how it works.

His program uses a rather unique method of encryption, which makes it virtually unbreakable. But you have to be responsible if you use it. Lose your key, and your file can not be un-encrypted.  There is no master key. So you’ll need to keep backups of either the keys you generate or the unencrypted files somewhere.

He says that the government always ends up wanting the keys to any encryption programs, which makes the programs virtually useless, as far as keeping ALL prying eyes out of your stuff.  I like to not believe that kind of stuff, I like to believe that all humans are trustworthy and honest, but I’m afraid it’s true.  Or not true, depending on how you read that sentence!

Check out this article by Phil Zimmermann, the creator of PGP. It talks about how the government wants a backdoor into all kinds of communication devices (email, cell phones, etc). Also, check out the beginning of this article about Mr. Zimmermann, which gives the background of his creating PGP, and the government’s 3 year investigation of him, because of it. I think my nephew might be right.

Now maybe, just maybe, my nephew is going to be the next Phil Zimmermann. Who knows? And then we can all say we knew him when…..

We asked Laurence Moroney to tell us a bit about Microsoft’s new Silverlight technology:

Q. Laurence, what exactly is Silverlight, and what can we do with it?

A. Silverlight is a cross-browser, cross-platform plug-in for delivering the next generation of media experiences and rich interactive applications for the Web. It is designed to bring the work of designers and developers closer together to allow for well designed applications to be built easily and cost effectively. It achieves this through use of Xml Application Markup Language (XAML), an xml-based language that is expressed by design tools such as Microsoft Expression Blend and Microsoft Expression Design. Using these, the designers vision and work is implemented directly into the application, and activated by the programmer in code.

Version 1.0 of Silverlight (now released) is a plug-in for the browser that renders XAML and exposes a JavaScript programming interface.

Version 1.1. of Silverlight (in early access) adds .NET programming to this. It will ship with a special mini-CLR that allows developers to write code in their favorite .NET language and have it execute on the browser. And yes, it will work on the Mac!

Q. What is your involvement with Silverlight? Aren’t you on the development team?

A. I’m a Technology Evangelist at Microsoft, part of the Developer Platform Evangelism organization. We’re generally seen as an ‘extended’ part of the product development team. We work at the intersection of development, marketing and business development. I’m primarily responsible for Silverlight.

Q. Tell us about your new book on Silverlight, Introducing Microsoft Silverlight 1.0.

A. My new book on Silverlight 1.0 is designed to be an easy-to-read quick start in understanding what Silverlight 1.0 is all about and how to start building applications quickly. There are chapters on the architecture of Silverlight, the tools, XAML, JavaScript programming, Media programming, Ink-based computing, Transformations, Animation, how to integrate Silverlight in an n-Tier architecture, and the future of Silverlight.

Q. Is there somewhere that we can see some examples of Silverlight?

A. Yes, Check out http://www.silverlight.net — there’s lots and lots of examples there.

Alright, thank you, Laurence!

Adobe has launched it’s new Photoshop Express beta today. It’s an free online toned-down version of Photoshop, and can be found here: http://www.adobe.com/products/photoshopexpress/

It’s geared towards the new generation of users who edit, store and share photos online. It’s much easier to learn than Photoshop, and since it is web-based, it can be used with any type of computer or browser or operating system (even Linux!). All you need is a browser and Flash 9. And since it is web-based, your account can be reached from any computer.

Photoshop Express works in four areas - organizing, editing, sharing, and community. It integrates well with Facebook, Picasa, and Photobucket, and Flickr integration is in the works now.  There are feedback buttons on every page, and all user feedback will be evaluated for future versions.

You get 2 gigabytes of storage space, and are allowed to upload photos up to 10 megbytes in size. There are tools for cropping, resizing, removing red eye, sharpening, touchup and more, including a set of advanced effects for changing colors, distorting images and converting photos to black and white, plus various image effects. It doesn’t do layers or the more advanced Photoshop functions, but you can definitely spruce up your pix.  Why not give it a spin?

You may have been getting emails or comments on your MySpace profile advertising “legal bud”, “legal herb”, etc.  Don’t believe them! The ads are coming from servers in Hong Kong, and their IP addresses change every few minutes. It is believed that the sites are set up just to collect credit card numbers.

We first saw their ads on our MySpace page, supposedly posted by a friend. He also kept posting ads for a MySpace Tracker, which would allow you to see some stats on who had visited your profile. We clicked on that ad, and found a very unsophisticated website. To get this tracker, you have to give them your MySpace login and password, and the fine print gives them permission to post bulletins and comments to your friends. 

Next, we started getting the Legal Bud ads from this same friend. He swears he is not posting those, or the tracker ads.

My guess is that the Legal Bud ads are either coming from the Tracker people, or the Tracker people are allowing them to post the Bud ads.  eWeek has an article about the Legal Bud today.  Don’t give them your credit card number! Get high on life instead!

The article says some certifications are still “good”, like Project Management (PMP), anything Security, and a few others.  These are the ones that are constantly raising the bar, making them ever-more difficult to obtain - meaning you’d better really know your stuff to get these certs.

Our friend Justin, who is a recruiter for Modis IT  in Overland Park, Kansas, has this to say about it:

“It has been my experience that the significance of certifications not only varies from company to company, but also from hiring manager to hiring manager within each of those companies. Obviously making the effort to get certified with a specific technology will never hurt your career, but the value of that certification may depend upon the perspective of the individual evaluating that certification. ”

Justin Stancil
Resource Development Manager
Modis IT www.modisit.com

What has been your experience? Are you certified and have lost out on a job to someone without a certification?

Seriously, Nigerian scams can be deadly! Advanced Fee Frauds, says that people have been assaulted and even murdered, after getting involved with “Nigerian 419 Advance Fee Fraud offenders”. The number 419 is the number of the article in the Nigerian Criminal Code that deals specifically with these scams.

As the site says, when you get an email from a Nigerian scam, it’s not just some solitary ding-dong sitting at his computer writing the email. They are organized gangs, using proven templates, that are sent to thousands of email addresses. Some of them even have offices, legitmate fax numbers, and contacts in government office — so that when the target researches the offer, everything seems to check out.

Some of the victims have been held for ransom, assaulted, robbed, or killed when traveling to meet the scammers in their country.

Check out the Advanced Fraud Fees site to see their database of hundreds of fraud letters, plus lots of little known information on Nigerian 419 Scams.

On a lighter note, author Steve Graham got fed up with getting annoying spam from crooks in Nigeria. He decided to waste their time the way they wasted his. He dragged dozens of email spammers into long drawn-out exchanges, posing as figures such as Barney Rubble, Herman Munster, Wile E. Coyote, and Adolf Hitler. And now the best exchanges have been condensed into this book, The Good, the Spam, and the Ugly